YES, I HAD SO MUCH FUN. THANK YOU FOR ASKING. MIGHT I ELABORATE. First of all, this is the closest I’ve ever been to a stage in a venue with assigned seating. I hate assigned seats so much because I’m very clumsy and confused and can never find where I’m supposed to be, especially when I’m alone, which I was. LIKE I STAY CAUSING A RUCKUS CUZ I’M RUINING EVERYONE’S LIVES TRYNA BETTER MINE. IT’S A MESS. MY LIFE A DAMN MESS. But I found my seat and this is where I was in relation to ONE DIRECTION:
HARRY STYLES worked my side of the stage the most, while NIALL HORAN was #2. LIAM PAYNE came over sometimes and showed off his JORTS, much to my BLOOD-CURDLING, PASSIONATE, SCREAMING AGONY, SHOULDERS HUNCHED UP TO MY EARS TO KEEP MY BRAIN FROM OOZING OUT, I LOVE YOU LIAM, YOU’RE DYNAMITE. I never once saw ZAYN MALIK or LOUIS TOMLINSON come over to see me, YES ME, PERSONALLY, which I love. Not because I didn’t want to see them come closer, but because it’s SO THEM. THEY AIN’T GONNA DO THAT WORKING THE CROWD SHIT! THEY GOT THE CROWD WORKED ENOUGH ALREADY! However, I am a very unreliable narrator and don’t remember anything, so maybe they did come over and I blacked out.
SEEING THE FURY WITH WHICH NIALL GRABS HIS JUNK IN PERSON LEFT ME MOMENTARILY OUT OF MY OWN BODY. HE’S SO ANGRY, SO ANGRY ABOUT WHAT U MAKE HIM WANNA ONE MORE NIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS UNRELIABLE? The cameras that show them on the giant screens. The whole time I was there, I had no idea where to look. DO I LOOK AT THE SCREENS? NO, THEY HAVE WEIRD GRAPHICS ON THEM RIGHT NOW. SO I LOOK AT THE RUNWAY WHERE EVERYONE IS, BUT I’M NOT THAT CLOSE, SO I TURN TO THE SCREENS FOR ANSWERS. THEY’RE BLASTING OUT ZAYN’S BEAUTIFUL IMAGE. BUT IF I TURN TO THE RUNWAY, I CAN SEE ZAYN IS PLAYFULLY DOING SOMETHING WITH NIALL. WHY ISN’T THE CAMERA SHOWING THAT? I WANT TO SEE EVERYTHING, BUT I CAN’T. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. I FEEL LIKE I’M WATCHING SUPER EDITED HUNGER GAMES FOOTAGE FROM THE CAPITOL. I NEED EYES ON EVERY PART OF MY SKULL. WHAT IS THE INTENTION OF THIS STYLE OF PRESENTING ONE DIRECTION TO ME? AREN’T I OVERWHELMED ENOUGH?????? This is why I can’t remember a damn thing, only the feeling of being awash in joy.
The BEST graphics sequence, which not enough people have talked about in my opinion, was when, during the song ONE THING, which I can sing along to with my eyes closed and my corpse dead in the ground, the boys were raised up high into the air on a crazy platform, which was enrobed in screens like a Snickers is enrobed in chocolate, honey. Every screen was showing some sort of 8-bit Super Mario-ass bullshit where ONE DIRECTION were characters trying to get to the club. I SWIVELED MY HEAD AROUND, UP, DOWN, TO THE LEFT, RIGHTWAYS, EVERYWHERE, TRYING TO ABSORB EVERY BIT OF THIS ONE DIRECTION VIDEO GAME. THEY WERE IN SPACE SHIPS. HARRY WAS RIDING A DINOSAUR. THEY FELL FROM THE SKY. THEY LAND IN A PLACE CALLED CLUB NOOICE, THEN DANCE OUT OF SYNC. I DIDN’T GET TO TAKE ALL OF IT IN, BUT I WAS SHITTING. LIKE NOBODY ELSE CARED. I’M LIKE, ARE YOU SEEING THIS? I KNOW THE REAL ONE DIRECTION IS HERE BUT LIKE WHAT’S HAPPENING? “WHAT’S HAPPENING????????” -ME, AT ALL TIMES.
IS 8-BIT HARRY STYLES RIDING A FUCKING DINOSAUR
MY FACE THE ENTIRE TIME THIS WAS GOING ON
ARE THEY ON A FUCKING 50 FOOT TALL CUBE WHILE 8-BIT VERSIONS OF THEMSELVES THRUST AT CLUB NOOICE wHaT iS hApPeNiNg
Sometimes I think I am desensitized to One Direction because I see so much of them in my daily life, but there are certain things that GIFS cannot capture. My clearest IRL memories are: the lilt of Zayn’s speaking voice that is more high-pitched than you imagine it will be, like he is using a special Phone Voice to talk to us. Every single one of Louis’ armpit hairs on 100 foot tall screens. Harry Styles took 5 minutes to figure out a girl’s name to sing happy birthday to her (it was BAILEY, he thought it was NAILEY, as if that is a name), and she was such a beautiful young girl, and her hands shook as he spoke to her and now she’s probably in a shitting-herself-coma, and he knows what he did. Niall’s guitar playing is very erotic and I feel that he knows everything about me and I trust him with that knowledge. Liam is everywhere, he is up at the top of the stage, then is at at the end of it, he is the ceiling of the arena, he is the sky, he is inside the speakers, he is the vibrations of sound, and he envelopes you in the warm embrace of his presence, moving and dancing and living life 2 the max the entire time. When I am there at The End of All Things with Frodo, hot lava surrounding us on a rapidly shrinking boulder, fireballs shooting, our greatest enemy defeated and our impossible task complete, and Frodo lists the things he can remember now that he is finally free of his terrible burden - the Shire, Bag End, the Brandywine River, Gandalf’s fireworks, the lights, the Party Tree, all of these things at a One Direction conert - this is what I will remember: Liam Payne, dancing. He had ribbons in his hair. If ever I was to marry someone, it would have been him. It would have been him.
Anyway this is me now. I’m a sex shark. WHO DREW THIS? WAS IT ZAYN? I WANT TO BELIEVE IT WAS ZAYN. ZAYN MALIK, GENTLE VOICE AND TENDER HEART, SITTING DOWN TO DRAW A SEXY MERSHARK WITH LEGS AND FISHNET STOCKINGS AND HEELS AND A TITE ASS. SEXSHARKNADO 2: IT’S HAPPENED BEFORE AND IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.
don’t believe any boy who says “i’m not like other guys” unless he has snow-white hair, glowin green eyes and can walk through walls, disappear and fly
asexual people are so cool because they can use the term “ace” when referring to themselves??? ace is such a rad word??? stay cool my ace pals
Kill Bill technically takes place in the same universe as Spy Kids just so you all know
how do you figure that
I will never stop reminding people that Machete is the uncle of the kids from Spy Kids.
6 / ?? Favourite Marvel Movies Meme → Guardians Of The Galaxy
Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It’s called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is. [ insp ]